Jax was born at 27 weeks weighing just 2lbs 4oz. We were completely unprepared for his premature birth. It took a while to sink in that he was actually here. As well as the seriousness of the journey ahead. Jax was born by emergency C section and taken straight onto NICU. I didnt get to meet him until around 10 hours later. I was shocked to say the least. He was so so tiny. I’d never seen such a premature baby before. I couldn’t believe that he was ours.
He was on a ventilator for a few days and he had a collapsed lung which was horrifying to be told. I was scared that he wouldn’t make it. After the initial shock the doctors were able to explain to us what had happened and that he was doing well.
As the days went by it felt like we were constantly taking 1 step forward and 2 steps back. I felt like every time I got my hopes up that he was going to be OK something else would go wrong. Jax had 5 blood transfusions whilst on the neonatal unit and they didn’t get easier to see. He also had a few infections and an open valve in his heart. Jax had constant brady’s and desaturations and that made me feel anxious. To the point when on some occasions I had to leave the neonatal unit for a short time. I just had to step away as it made me so upset. Seeing your baby so vulnerable makes you feel completely helpless. You can’t pick them up and hold them. All you want is to cuddle them. Show them that you’re there and that you love them but you can’t.
As time went by the the nurses started to feel like friends and they made us feel that they genuinely cared about our baby. They looked after Jax so well and they were there for us as parents too. Especially when I was upset. Which was a lot!
Jax was on the neonatal unit for 11 weeks. We will never be able to express our gratitude to all the doctors and nurses who looked after him. He means more to us than anything in the world and we will be forever thankful to them. I will also be eternally grateful to Spoons who were so supportive throughout our time there and a shoulder to cry on. Which we needed.
It was an extremely difficult time but we could not be happier now. It was all completely worth it.