It felt like my world came shattering down. We never expected anything like this, not in our wildest dreams. I kept asking myself “why me?” Did I do something wrong? Have I eaten the wrong food or maybe overworked myself. My head was full of crazy thoughts and I couldn’t stop crying. I was scared of what was yet to come.
I was given an emergency cesarean section, and our baby was born not breathing. I didn’t hear him cry. I saw them working on him, resuscitating him and then he was ventilated. The staff came over and told me he was a boy and that he was beautiful and he was fighting. We named him Abdullah, he was diagnosed with a very rare form of blood cancer and they told me he needed to go to another hospital for specialist care. They then immediately took him to Alder Hey. I didn’t see him again for another 7 days as I was so poorly and was kept in Oldham Hospital.
This little tiny baby in a glass box they called they call an incubator, was connected to lots of wires and machines that seemed to be keeping him alive. He had 2 nurses looking after him constantly and we knew it was serious. He was receiving chemotherapy, had severe Hydrops and was diagnosed with Trisomy 21 (Down Syndrome). I just stared at him. The nurses were updating me but it was just too much to digest. He looked so tiny and I felt so sad for him. I blamed myself, it all felt like a bad dream that I wasn’t waking up from. Abdullah received 10 doses of chemotherapy and weeks later was stable enough to be transferred back to Oldham NICU. We were pleased as it was so difficult travelling to Liverpool from Manchester everyday but we were nervous about being in a new hospital. Adbullah had a long road ahead of him. He spent a total of 6 months in 3 different hospitals. There was times where I didn’t feel like his mum and there were many times when I was unable to hold him and just wanted to give him a cuddle.
The nurses at Oldham were excellent and they looked after him so well. Whenever my other 2 kids would come to the hospital with us they would keep them entertained so we could spend time with Abdullah. The nurses helped so much. My proudest moment was when Abdullah came out of the incubator into the cot, I was so proud of my baby boy. Abdullah is 18 months old now, at home, on oxygen and still fed via a tube but despite the problems he faces, he is doing well. He is meeting his milestones and is a happy little boy, I am so proud of him and my family.
I was 31 weeks pregnant. My husband and I were taken into a small room to inform us that our baby boy might not make it into this world as he had severe problems.